So here I sit, two weeks from when the packers should arrive at the house to pack up darn near everything we own and yet I still don’t know if we’re going or not. Yep, you read that right. WE STILL DON’T KNOW IF WE ARE GOING OR NOT!!
At first our assignment was denied because of Trygg’s EFMP packet. EFMP is the Exceptional Family Member Program and they track family members with certain medical conditions in an attempt to prevent a Soldier from getting assigned to an area that doesn’t have the proper medical care for the family member enrolled in EFMP. In this case it all boils down to Trygg’s asthma.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Trygg, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah not going, blah, blah, blah, blah, Trygg, blah, blah, blah, blah, going, blah, blah, blah asthma …is all you heard. . trust me, I know. I’ve spoken to some of you and I know for a fact I’ve repeated myself about a million times on this issue.
So here is the latest as I know it and pay close attention so I don’t have to repeat myself:
We are going somewhere in the next month or two and that location is considered top secret. In fact, it is so secret that they can’t even tell us where the location is going to be. We do know one thing for sure and that is that it will be somewhere on this planet. Whew, that’s comforting. For a moment I thought we were going to be the first family on Mars. . . try shipping the dog there United!
Oh, and I was told that our assignments officer and the orders office here were trying to send us somewhere over the rainbow as they tried to find out what was up and what was down, and what side of the box is the inside of the box and what side of the box is the outside of the box, before they could tell us if the cow really did jump over the moon and if Peter really did pick a pack of pickled peppers, all so they could verify that it really was Cinderella that lost the glass slipper and that the grass really is greener on the other side of the mountain before they can tell us if Sally really sells seashells by the seashore and just how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood and quite frankly it all comes down to the fact that a big black bear bit a big black bug and the big black bug bled black blood and that a skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk and finally, oh yes finally they should have an answer for us in the Bredlow’s on the move riddle.
This train has officially departed for the funny farm. Please bring a couple of Prozac and a bottle of vodka with on your next scheduled visit. . . you’ll be begging for both of them before you leave.