The Bredlow Family Blog

Yeah, we really are this crazy.

Surprise?! September 7, 2010

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 9:14 pm
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To say I’ve had a rough day would be an understatement.  I was 100% off today.  When I couldn’t wake up this morning to make sure Tyler got to school, I knew it was going to be a rough day.  So what did I do for him instead?  I layed in bed and gave him a task to do (like go get dressed) and then told him to come see me when he was done.  I did this until it was time for him to leave, all from the comfort of my bed.  Nice huh?  Hold off on my mother of the year nominations until you’ve read all of this blog. 😉

Now, I knew I had to get up because I have to physically take Trygg to school every day.  Not to mention the minor detail that today was in fact the first day of Kindergarten for him.  In true form…we were seriously running late.  And these two start school at 9.  Almost two full hours after Tyler starts school.

By the time we got to Trey’s classroom I was already starting to sweat.  I assume they have a no running rule because even though Trey was visibly late for school he casually strolled along.  I on the other hand, was power walking my tail off trying desperately to motivate the slower sheep in the flock.  For goodness sake, if he’d move his long legs faster he’d make it on time.  Crazy as it was, he strolled along like he had all the time in the world.  As if being late had absolutely no effect on him.  Ugh, come on Trey.  Where is your sense of urgency?!  Outside his classroom door were two other boys.  Why is it always the boys?!  I thought (silly me) that Trey would just go into the classroom and carry on about his day.  Nope.  He joined the other two untimely children in the (oh dear me) tardy line!

Oops…my bad.  Didn’t realize his teacher was so strict on that whole on time thing.  I mean, this is the second grade and it was ONE MINUTE after nine. Yeah, he was one minute late.  Dang it if only that boy would have had a greater sense of urgency….or if his mother would have been a little more motivated to get out of bed in the first place.  That’s neither here nor there…the fact is: he was late.

I asked him if he was okay, I mean, this is not a good thing after all.  He said, “I just have to go to the office and get a paper, that’s all.”  Wow, he sure knows his tardy policies now doesn’t he.  Odd that he knew that so well was my next thought. So I asked him, “How do you know that?”  “Well,” he said “I had to go the other day when I was late.”  WHAT?! He continues, “You know, that day you dropped me off right there.” He was pointing to the curb by the playground.  I do remember that day.  I dropped him off at the curb right down the sidewalk from his classroom.  All he had to do was walk through the playground and then he had a direct shot to his room.  What did he do instead?  He walked down the sidewalk all the way to the other end of the playground, then followed the sidewalk around to the other corner, then continued on it as it turned before finally making it to the place he could have started.  All while walking just a casually as he did today.  Yeah, he could have been on time that day had he just walked straight through the playground instead of taking the scenic route all the way around it.  On the flip side though, his teacher has him down for two tardies…both of which have gone down in the books as the parent’s fault.

Ok, so I left Trey in the tardy line to take Trygg to Kindergarten.  Thank God every parent, grandparent, neighbor, cousin, younger sibling, and random stranger came along with most families to drop their first time kindergartener off at school.  All that did for me was make Trygg’s teacher not realize that we were late!  Oh, and on my power walk to the school I realized that I’d forgotten my camera.  Who forgets their camera on the first day of Kindergarten?!  Good thing I had my cell phone on me, the camera on that is just as good.  Crap.  my cell phone is with my camera.  AAAAAAGH!!!

So a quick hug and a kiss goodbye and Trygg was on his way to bigger and better things.  He practically ran the whole way here.  This is one motivated kid and he could not wait to start school.

Learning from Trey, I very casually walked back.  I have got to figure out a way to get moving faster in the morning.  Oh, I’ve got it.  I am now accepting applications for a highly motivated yet not bubbly morning person type person to come to my house and get my kids up, dressed, fed, and ready for school in the morning.  It will involve making three lunches, walking two of them to their classrooms, and taking the dog out.  🙂  There is no pay involved.

Last night Bruce and Tyler started watching a SCUBA DVD for their open water dives this weekend.  It was getting late and Tyler was sent to bed.  Before bed, however; he had to shower.  Now, if you’ve read any of my past blogs you’ll know that we have an on and off again cockroach problem.  Several large containers of bug killer, a visit from Entomology, and an invite to all local lizards to come reside in my house has had an amazing impact on the cockroach infestation.  But, (there is always a but and it is never good) we still get them once in a while.  Where do we get them….why in the boys’ shower of course. Where else?  🙂

It baffles me beyond belief that we get them in there of all places.  The only way they can be getting in is through the drain.  The same drain that a ton of water goes down each night as the three of them shower and bathe…separately.  So how on earth is it that they keep coming up through here?  Your guess is as good as mine.  To keep the upper hand on the nasty little critters (ok, the nasty monster sized critters) I mandate that the plug be placed into the drain after the last person is done in the shower.  How hard is that???

If your name is Tyler, it is very hard.  So hard that it is nearly impossible.  Why he can’t remember to replace the plug is beyond me, but I have reached my limit.  The only time I find a cockroach in there now is after he’s showered and gone to bed….without replacing the plug.  And finding them is usually a surprise.  They scare the shit out of you long before you knew they were there.

Unfortunately, nine times out of ten it s Trey and Trygg showering first.  So needless to say, nine times out of ten it is Trey or Trygg that find the cockroach.   Tonight it was Trey.  Poor, poor Trey.

I had told the boys to get ready for bed and to brush their teeth.  Tyler and Bruce were still out with the diving group and I was trying to get these two into bed before they got home (mission successful as they are still not home).  While they were putting their toys away I stuck my head in the bathroom and noticed the plug was out of the drain.  “Oh crap.” is what I thought.  Ever so reluctantly I moved the shower curtain.  Then the shower curtain liner.  Then I shook them, very carefully.  Then very rigorously.  This is so hard to do while keeping back because these cockroaches are trained airborne rangers.  They drop in on you in this shower from out of nowhere.  And I was in no mood for a mild heart attack tonight.  Satisfied that there were no cockroaches I went to replace the plug.  I couldn’t find the plug.

I don’t have time for this.  Come on Tyler, I know you were the last kid to shower…what on earth did you do with it.  Like any good parent, I called for backup.  “Trey!”  I shouted. “Will you come here and put the plug back into the shower please?  Tyler left it out last night.”  At the last-minute I added “I didn’t see any cockroaches so you should be good.”

He was happy to stop cleaning up the toys to hunt for the plug.  He whips open the shower curtain and starts looking in the pockets of the liner for the plug when I hear “MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  pause “COCKROACH!!!!”

I said “Are you serious Trey? I just looked in there and there were no cockroaches.”  I’m sure I sounded irritated.  “Where is it, is it by the drain?”  I mean, if it was by the drain then it would have just come up.  No response from Trey meant I had some investigating to do.

“Holy Crap.” I thought…although I might have actually said that out loud.  This sucker was HUGE!  I am continually amazed at the size of the roaches that come out of this drain…wow.  And this one was not to disappoint.  I seriously think it is the biggest one I’ve seen in our house.  He had to be about three inches long, at least.  He was so big that from across the room I could visibly make out the hairs on his long nasty legs.  Ewe.  How on earth did I miss that?!

Nope, it wasn’t by the drain.  It was on the inside of the shower curtain between the curtain and the liner, at about my eye level.  That means it was there the entire time I searched for it.  Ewe again.  I’ve found them in all sorts of places so I know to look carefully…but this guy was crazy stealth.  I have no idea how I missed him…especially since he was so huge.

By this time Trey and Trygg are lingering near the bathroom door with one foot in the hallway ready to make a wicked fast escape should this puppy make a run for it.  I had to get it off the shower curtain and into the tub.  Once I have them in the tub I can get them easily…if they escape the tub I’m screwed.  So I had to do a little convincing but I got Trey on board to help me.

After about five minutes we got the nasty beast on its back in the tub.  Most roaches are helpless on their backs…this one was so big though that he had no trouble flipping from his front to his back.  Panic mode had set in…I grabbed the cup we use to rinse the tub and filled it with water.  Then I dumped it on the roach…over and over and over and over and over again.  It would be so much easier if their bleeping tub had a sprayer for a shower head and not the standard shower head.

You’ll be happy to know that after much work and many many cheers from Trey and Trygg (it was like they were rooting for a favorite sporting team) I got the damn thing into the drain.  I ran the water for at least five minutes in my valiant attempt at carrying out a drowning.  You know the bugger is big when you can tell by the way the water is draining (or not draining in this case) that it’s still stuck in the drain hole.  Ok, five minutes was enough for me.  I had a better solution.

Before I turned the water off I had Trey locate that plug.  Plug in hand I ever so slowly turned the water off.  “Lord help me if that thing lunges up at me because someone will die.” I was thinking as my heart was beating like I’d just run a marathon….at a full sprint.  Ever so cautiously I watched the water drain out of the tub.  Man that thing is huge!

What did I do?  I put the plug in place and pushed it in tightly.  Tyler is still out doing some SCUBA refresher training with Bruce.  I think tonight’s shower will be the last time he forgets to replace the plug*.

*Tyler is in for one heck of a surprise if I didn’t successfully drown that cockroach.


4 Responses to “Surprise?!”

  1. Mom Bredlow Says:

    I am anxious about Tyler’s response. Did he shower ??


    • He sure did and he was NOT pleased. All I heard was “Mom.” No yelling or screaming, just an unsure tone in his voice. I kind of giggled when I looked at Bruce (who was just spun up on the whole thing) and said what back to him. All he said was “there’s a dead cockroach in the drain.”
      All I could do was answer back with “Yeah, I know. I left it there for you. Maybe next time you’ll put the plug back. Now clean it up.” He was very unhappy about having to clean it up.
      But he did put the plug back after his shower.


  2. Dad Says:

    You are such a creative writer that I was on the edge of my seat to read on. There must be something you can pour in the drain to kill them. It must be terrible to be constantly looking around for those creepy reptiles.
    Love you all, DAD

    ps, I’ll come to get the boyz ready for school


  3. bruce Says:

    So……now you’re into waterboarding cockroaches. Nice.


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