It’s official. I am clearly unable to produce blogs on a regular basis. I don’t know what the problem is either. I mean, everyone seems to be pretty regular around here, if you know what I mean. 😉
Sorry, I have poop on the brain. Can I say that? Poop. Oops, I said it again. Seriously though, Trooper seems to have a little stomach bug and well…if you know Trooper than you know there is nothing little about him. No little dog hair piles in our house, we have dog hair tumbleweeds. No little stomach bug either, we have the plague. No little accident in the house, we have a hot, stinky, steamy, fudge mountain. But you know what? It’s okay; we have a steam cleaner. Good thing too because the Air Force was kind enough to bless us with really light (almost like the sand at the beach, except without all the sand, and well, beach) tan wall-to-wall carpet. I am serious when I say it’s a blessing, even though my innate ability to throw sarcasm into everything is screaming through that last sentence like a three year old in a haunted house on Halloween. Here’s why it’s a blessing. Sure it’s really light and you can see everything that even thinks about touching it, to include the marks from furniture I thought about placing in the room but never actually did. Yeah, it’s that light. But, (alas, here is the point of my long drawn out description) a lot of the houses have hardwood floors and although I’d much prefer that because I just like hardwoods and it’s better for allergy and asthma sufferers, the real reason this day at the beach carpet without all the water, sand, and sun is a blessing for us is that Trooper can’t walk on the slippery surfaces.
You should see him in the kitchen (which is a lovely 1970’s elementary school cafeteria shade of white, with carefully placed specs of something in another color), it is a riot. To keep the big guy from breaking a hip I lined the path to his food and water with rugs. A mish-mash of colored rugs that naturally are all in the same family of colors on the color wheel (look, I care about these things). I like to call this section of the color wheel the wild and crazy side. I mean, if you want to unleash your inner beast this is definitely the section to start in. That’s right folks, I have a lovely assortment of beige rugs. Shockingly wild and crazy isn’t it? Now, I like to laugh so naturally these lovely floor coverings that are meant to assist my over-sized automatic couch cushion warmer are NOT non-slip rugs.
Are you still trying to visualize that?
Let me help. Big dog +big rug + one big step onto the big rug as it slides about a foot into the refrigerator is nothing short of funny. So it is kind of like a double blessing. Trooper gets a floor he can walk easily on throughout the house so long as he isn’t running when he steps on them, and I get to have a good laugh every now and again. It’s a win-win situation.
Truth be told though, I really do hope his stomach feels better quickly. I dislike the smell of liquid poop almost as much as I dislike the smell of his ears (which smell really raunchy today by the way). I tried locking him in the kitchen and laundry rooms while I was gone, but that didn’t seem to help at all. We have a two way swinging door between the living room and kitchen. While I was home he stayed in the restricted zone (aka: a tiled floor); however, as soon as I got home from PWOC I noticed the kitchen was empty. You just can’t up and hide a 140 pound dog in a space like that. I did find him sprawled out on the couch sawing logs, in true Trooper form (tongue hanging out of his mouth, eyes rolled up in his head, snoring, legs spread open wide, belly to the ceiling…..yep, that is the dog we all know and love so much.
So there you have it. A totally random blog about my dog and his poop.