It is pitch black in our hotel room, with the exception of the dull glow from my laptop screen and the bathroom light. Oh, and the street light coming in through the window and the hall light shining under our door………so I guess it’s not really pitch black in here after all. Hmmm……I’ll try that opening line again seeing as I’m making myself out to be a liar and all.
It was a dark and stormy night on the eve of Thursday. The temperature had already fallen ten points and was hovering around a brisk 18 degrees. Celsius people, celsius. The energy zapping, volatile beasts that can make blood boil faster than if it were near the surface of the sun, were already nestled into their hide-a-beds and were rapidly recharging their energy stores in order to drive me one step closer to the nut-house in the morning, in a kind of sort of super darkish hotel room.
Agh…silence. Finally there is peace in our room and I can feel the frustration slip away.
“a;lfdhga alslkghaghe” mumbles Tyler.
“What?” said Bruce.
“Sure honey.” I said to Tyler. “Oh, he’s just talking in his sleep again.” I said to Bruce. Silence again.
“Did you put Rosco there?!” Trey said sounding a bit freaked out.
I looked up and the cat was sitting on the couch cushion, which was placed at the foot of Trey’s hide-a-bed, staring at Trey. The light shining from the window making his eyes glow. Oh nice one Rosco, freaking the kid out. I like your style!! For those that don’t know, Rosco is a black cat. He’s like a ninja. “Nope. He jumped up there on his own.” I said to Trey, who just rolled over and went back to sleep.
Aside from now lying perpendicular to the way he initially started about twenty minutes ago, Trygg has been the quietest. Soon he’ll even have his feet in Trey’s face. The beauty in this is that they’ll wake up fighting over who hogged the bed. Good times.
This is how the day ended. We skidded into it sideways, out of breath, and totally beat down. In other words, just like every other day…..with the exception of a few hours earlier when we were all in the car. The kids were clearly bored out of their minds and feigning interest in hanging out with me and Bruce. As parents, we could care less if they were interested in hanging with us or not. The fact of the matter is, we said so. End of story.
They had been fighting like cats and dogs, cowboys and indians, cops and robbers, Dorothy and the Wicked Witch……you get the picture. We had tried to reason with them and they were not having it. So, having our Parents of the Year award to live up to and all, we ignored them.
They sat in the back seat of our Volkswagen Golf, shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee (because the car isn’t that wide) singing. That’s right. Singing. It was Trey that broke into song first. Tyler quickly jumped in when he heard the song choice. As soon as Trygg was done with his laugh attack he joined in. All three of them in the backseat of the VW Golf singing as if they were the Boys Choir performing before the Queen. It was loud. It was in tune. It was in harmony. It was HORRENDOUS. Well, not at first. The first few times it was funny. Hysterical actually. But after ten, maybe twenty minutes, I was no longer interested. In fact, I was praying they’d all suddenly lose their ability to speak. Unanswered prayers folks…unanswered prayers.
Check out this YouTube video for the song they were singing. Oh, and THEY WERE MIMICKING THE VOICES of the original song.
Now, image listening to that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Trey even pretended he was the orchestra in the background while the other two sang….then they took turns doing the SpongeBob part. Trygg can mimic Plankton the best. I shouldn’t know that.
I was starting to feel the urge to either join them in song, or to laugh until I cried. I just wasn’t sure which was going to happen first. I fear the joyous ridiculousness of the lyrics was starting to overtake me. Was I losing it? Don’t join in again….yes I said again. I joined in to correct the error in their rendition of what Plankton sings. Crazy fool, I know.
Mid FUN song concert number 8.2 million Trey says: “Hey mom. Hey mom!! Guess what my favorite word is?? I starts with F and ends with U-C-K….”
As the blood inside me rapidly boils, the steam begins ejecting from my ears, and the laser beams start powering up in my eyes I make eye contact with Bruce. Who, surprisingly, has managed to remain totally unaffected during this whole singing ensemble. The instant “what did he just say” look combined with the “I’m going to smack him” look registered on both of our faces. And just when I turned my head to look into the back seat at Trey where I was literally milliseconds away from unleashing a whole new world of hurt on him he shouts: “FIRETRUCK!”