The Bredlow Family Blog

Yeah, we really are this crazy.

The little jokesters strike again… January 21, 2014

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife,The Boys,Totally Random Stuff — bredlowfamily @ 10:15 am

Life in our house is always a little different unique silly odd crazy humorous.  It is so crazy here at times I am a little uncertain as to whether or not I should admit us all into an asylum, or if we are in an asylum and I haven’t yet come to that realization on my own.  Should I be concerned?  If our family was followed by a film crew and we were instant reality TV stars, you would find our show on Comedy Central.

The latest rage in our house is Yo Mama jokes.  I have absolutely no idea where it all started, I only know that it started upon our move to Italy.  Somewhere outside the asylum, that place our kids refer to as home.  And quite frankly, who doesn’t love a good Yo Mama joke?

It isn’t fair for us to keep this insane amount of humor all bottled up inside our house.  We are busting at the seams with jokes and before you know it there will be a laughter explosion pouring forth from the walls of our house.  Brace yourselves, it is about to get silly up in here!

Consider this your personal collection of the best of the best relatively clean Yo Mama jokes.  If you know my kids, picture T2 telling you these as he is the lead Yo Mama jokester in the house.

Let’s start with a few Yo Mama so dumb and/or stupid and/or both jokes….

Yo Mama so dumb she spent 20 minutes staring at the orange juice because it said concentrate. (think about that…..)

Yo Mama so dumb she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo Mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Yo Mama so stupid that when she got locked in a grocery store she starved to death.

Yo Mama so dumb she went to the dentist for a blue tooth.

Yo Mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew. (I bet she crushed it!)

Yo Mama so stupid the only reason she opened her email is she heard it contained SPAM.

Yo Mama so stupid she went to a Clippers game for a haircut.

I mean honestly? Who can’t laugh at those?  But, in case you are butt hurt because I offended you with my  relatively tame set of jokes you should probably close this browser window now.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Don’t come crying to me when I touch a nerve with this next series of Yo Mama jokes.  It’s not my fault if you think we tell jokes that poke fun of you and your own mother (or mother-in-law).  It is entirely coincidental and knowing some people take these personally only makes them that much funnier to me.  😉

Onward we go with the jokes!  I’m just going to group these last few into one category.  The Fat and Old category!

Yo Mama so fat she was arrested for carrying ten pounds of crack!  (ok, seriously, how can you NOT laugh at that?)

Yo Mama so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica.  (bwahahahahaha!!)

Yo Mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo Mama so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome home party.

Yo Mama so fat that she comes at you from all directions. (I can picture this and it is funny)

Yo Mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo Mama so fat she was born on the 4th, 5th, and 6th of July.

Yo Mama so fat that her belly button got home 15 minutes before she did. (now that is a lot of woman)

Yo Mama so fat that when she walked in front of the TV I missed three episodes of Breaking Bad. (ok, we don’t watch TV so insert your favorite series in place of that one.)

Yo Mama so fat her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has a sweater.  (picture that in your mind…nasty)

Yo Mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

I know there are a million other Yo Mama jokes out there, some not so appropriate for children (and most adults).  But these are the ones that get my kids going and once they get started they can not stop.  For real, they can not stop.  We go from quiet evening meal to all out giggle fits in about three seconds flat. On slow days.

I have; however, saved the best one for last.  This is my all time favorite one and it is sure to get you laughing, as if the other jokes I posted weren’t enough.  And if they weren’t enough you should consider seeking medical attention to determine whether or not laugh box is broken.  It’s kind of like a voice box, only funnier.  If you go seek medical attention for your laugh box please let me know.  I need to know whose name to put in place of Yo Mama on all the Yo Mama so stupid and dumb jokes…..

Here is the number one Yo Mama joke in our house:

Yo Mama so ugly she scared the crap out of the toilet.   (no offense mom…or Marlene 😉 )

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