The Bredlow Family Blog

Yeah, we really are this crazy.

Snakes in the garden. May 11, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife,Totally Random Stuff — bredlowfamily @ 3:19 am
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This afternoon I decided to be a nice renter and do a bit of gardening.  Whatever!  I am always a nice renter (wink, wink, cough, cough) and I do enjoy gardening quite a bit.  So…..back track to last fall.

When we moved into this house the lawn and other such outdoor things appeared to be fairly well-kept.  Not unlike the rest of the house, that too, appeared well-kept.  Appeared being the operative word here.  After countless hours of trimming and pruning late last summer and early fall I quickly realized that this yard was maintained only so much as to appear loved.

Fast forward back to this afternoon and I am one sweaty, hot mess pulling into the driveway after a fun-filled sweat fest at the gym with my peeps.  I could see the killer storm clouds rolling in from the west and I thought: “Hey there sweaty lady, you should totally charge your camera because it would rock to get more sweet lightening pictures.  Oh, and the real reason we’re having this inner monologue is that this lawn would look freakishly amazing after a rain storm if it was freshly trimmed just prior to it.  You (yes, I am still talking to myself) should give the front yard quick trim before you take a shower.  I mean, look at yourself.  You stink, which is strange because you look amazing; even through all that sweat and frazzled hair.  I’m pretty sure fresh-cut grass would only add to the aroma and overall amazing look you are rocking right now.”  What was a girl  to do?  I can’t argue with myself when I’m making such a valid argument.

Unfortunately I have an electric mower and considering the fact that we had snow on the ground this time last week, and that we have endured eight months of winter….it is not charged.  So, I plugged it in, gassed it up, checked the oil, rotated the tires, brushed off the cobwebs, spit on it, and reattached the handle bar (I removed it to make room in the garage over the winter).  Then I pushed it into the corner and slumped away.  Sure I am allergic to cut grass, well, grass in general but cut grass makes it worse, but that has never stopped me before.  I am wicked anal about the yard; which sucks in this particular house.

Since I couldn’t mow, I decided to pull the weeds that had miraculously shot up faster than a teenage boy looking at a Playboy magazine.

I have learned from the neighbors that the home owners were very particular about their rose bushes.  Really?!  I would have NEVER GUESSED.  I’m not being sarcastic either.  As with the inside of this house, the yard and gardens only looked well-kept.  None of the beds have plastic sheeting under them….who does that?!  Lovers of weeds perhaps, or total cheap morons.

I started pulling a few weeds and dead branches out of the bushes when I realized they had probably never pruned or thinned out the shrubs.  Ugh.  Come on people…you trim your own hair to help it grow. Duh.

The rose bushes, as you may know, are not exactly bare hand friendly.  And the insane thorn monster plants planted alongside them made the rose bushes look as smooth as a baby’s backside.  I gloved up.

I spent two hours trimming and weeding two rose bushes and two thorn bushes.  I’m sure the thorn bush has an actual name; however, I have yet to see it produce anything other than thorns.  Had the home owners been thinking, they would have planted these skin mutilating plants under all the windows.  Who knows if it would keep the riff raff out; however, I am certain it would keep the kids in.

My arms look like I am into self-mutilation.  Yes they are all scratched up, blood may have been involved on more than one instance, and I may have said a few choice words from time to time.  Not helping is the fact that I am allergic to darn near everything that grows in Minnesota, so, all those scratches are red and puffy.  Awesome.

Every idiot knows that you need to prune and meticulously maintain a garden if you want it to blossom and be beautiful.  Imagine my surprise when I realized these plants hadn’t been pruned in a long, long, long time.  If ever.  Well, not ever because I did prune them last fall while they were green, these brown and lifeless branches posed a whole new level of fun.  No worries, I got that!  I went to pruning town.  Branches growing into the ground and not up…what?!  Chop those babies off and let the plant use the energy towards those branches that want to perform.  It’s like running a business: if you are slow to perform or a non-performer then I’m sorry, but I’ll have to let you go.  Bu-buy!

Fast forward again to today (yeah, I took two days off for laziness) and I am finishing this blog for the SECOND time.  Yeah, I finished it and published it once already today.  Did you like it?  Me too!!  I liked it so much I removed all traces of it from the internet and decided to start over from this point in the blog.  You know, sometimes it’s fun to recreate the pure awesomeness you just lost because of a server error.

While I was in the bushes I noticed a spiraling, swirling vine that mirrored a snake slithering through the trees in the jungle.  This sucker was all over the entire garden. In fact, had I not known any better I would have removed the rose bushes and left the vine.  It was that thick.  People this is a weed.  It will grow and slither its way through all your plants and like a Boa Constrictor, it will strangle and suffocate the life right out of them until you are left with a brown, thorny, flowerless garden.  In the owners defense, I can only assume they thought this flowering green vine that grows freakishly faster than fungus on an ingrown toenail in the hot, steamy sun was some amazing miracle plant that  they had, in fact, planted alongside their roses.

It is not a plant.  It is a weed.  A weed I tell you. And not even one you can smoke.  Well, I guess you could smoke it if you wanted to but….

This blog was way better before I lost the information.  I mean WAY BETTER.  And yes I checked my auto save folder and drafts.  Where do you think I found the first half of the blog (rhetorical question folks, no need to get snarky and answer it)?

Oh well, it’s your loss because I already knew how awesome this once was.  Now I’m in a pissy mood so I’ll just wrap it all up in one tight little package, not unlike the freaking weed I eradicated from the garden.  The home owners can thank me later when their garden rivals the rose garden at the White House, or not.

Not is fine too.

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You’re Reading What?! May 8, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife,Totally Random Stuff — bredlowfamily @ 1:47 pm
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I’ve often heard people say reading is good for the soul; or that it helps spark your imagination and keep your brain sharp.  I can see where that would be true; however, ain’t no one go time for that!

Honestly, when are the crazies that spend hours buried in a book finding the hours to bury themselves in a book?

I’ve had the same book sitting on my desk for about 20 minutes and I have yet to find the time to open it up. In fact, it now has two sheets of paper on top of it that appear to be more pressing issues than spending time reading.  One is the grocery list.  Stupid yes, but totally important in this house. I can hardly keep up with the ever expanding appetites of the boys as it is, let alone if I should forget to actually stock the house with food.  The other is a coupon book Trey made for me.  I plan to cash in every last one of his coupons this weekend.  Oh heck, I did just spend time reading….I read every single one of the coupons.  I especially like the one that has them cleaning the cat litter.  I’m definitely photocopying these coupons.  He even made a bar code on them so I could “scan” them with my iPhone like I do at the store when I’m looking for gluten in the ingredients.  This kid thinks of everything!  Well, almost everything.  If he thought of everything he’d have thrown a coupon in there refilling my wine glass.  😉

Speaking of wine, let me get back to the issue of reading.  Now, many people say they like to sit down with a glass of wine or a cup of tea and read.  To better prepare myself I poured a glass of wine into a tea cup, saucer and all.  Nothing screams elegance like sipping wine from an itty bitty cup with your pinky finger stuck out ever so daintily.  If I keep this habit up I’m going to have to crochet a few doilies to set under my tea cup.  Since I can’t crochet, it will be another amazing opportunity to read up on something.  I am a firm believer in learning a new skill too.  So as not to over exert myself, I’ll stick to one skill per day.  Today was mastering the art of pinky elegance while sipping a soft blush from a teacup.  Oh dear I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings!!

Regarding reading for enjoyment; what was the last book you read for pure, unadulterated personal enjoyment (aside from the Bible.  I am not counting that in this post because I read that daily.  This post is about other total nonsense kinds of reading)?  I was going to say pleasure instead of enjoyment; however, I know so many of my loyal readers have less than sparkly clean minds and images of Fifty Shades of Grey popped into my head.  *sigh*   I digress….   What are you reading for fun and not because you have to read a book for work, your book club, school, etc?

Don’t laugh at this one.  Aside from the ever so amazing Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, the last book I read was “Wineries of Wisconsin and Minnesota.”  Keep in mind I have read this keep you on the edge of your seat with suspense and pure awesomeness book at least five times.  Aside from that, my other recent read was “Give Up: Life’s an Adventure for Most….A Concussion for You.”  Both are crazy good books, but I definitely recommend the latter if you are looking for a light read.  I’m serious by the way.  These are the last two books I read.  In fact, I made  Bruce buy me the “Give Up” book for Christmas. 🙂

Wait until you hear what I have queued up for my next good read.  Are you ready?  Do you think you can handle it?!  Ok, I know the suspense is killing you.  The next book I plan to add to my repertoire is Kevin Zraly’s “Complete Wine Course.”  I can hear the roar of your cheering and the pains of your jealousy from here.

The question still remains though, where are all the crazies finding the time to spend hours buried in a book?  I read “If You Give a Mom a Martini” in about twenty minutes and that was pushing the limits of my free time.  Even in the twenty minutes I set aside to read that book the cat was pestering me so badly for attention that I had to give this mom a martini.

People often tell me they wake up early to read, or spend time reading during lunch, or even stay up late after the kids go to bed to read.  Are they nuts?!  Obviously they are.  If your kids haven’t worn you down to a drunken stupor by days end you are doing it wrong.  Or, perhaps it is because they do not have my kids.  😉

I do love reading!

I do love reading!

So tell me, what are the secrets to finding the time to actually sit down and read for the sake of reading (again, outside of the Bible) without falling asleep or having some snot nosed, dirt coated, poop machine interrupting you?

 

カリフラワー Pizza! March 10, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 2:57 pm
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So……any idea what  カリフラワー means?  I’ll give you a clue, it is normally NEVER, EVER, EVER found in pizza.  Unless of course, you are eating pizza at my house.  😀

I’ll start by posting this awesome video of the boys enjoying dinner.  At this point, they had no idea that they were eating  カリフラワー.

The pizza was really quite good, as is evidenced by the fact that this is all that was left:

Those kids sure do know how to clean up a pizza.

Those kids sure do know how to clean up a pizza.

Just what is this secret ingredient?  What does カリフラワー mean?  Watch this video for your answer.  😀

Awesome!  Here is what you need in order to make this pizza crust:

A medium size head of cauliflower

1 large egg, beaten

1/3 cup cheese (original called for goat cheese – NASTY!  I used a combination of Provolone and Mozzarella)

1 tsp dried oregano

a pinch of sea salt

Preheat your oven to 400F.

Make cauliflower rice.  To do this, put small batches of your cauliflower into a food processor and pulsate it.  Your cauliflower will look like rice after doing this, hence, cauliflower rice.  You want 4 cups of this cauliflower rice.

Fill a saucepan with water and bring it to a boil.  Put the 4 cups of cauliflower rice into the pot of boiling water.  Boil it for about five minutes.  Watch it closely though, as this likes to bubble up and I imagine it would be a mess to clean up should it boil over.

Once your cauliflower is soft drain it in a strainer that is very fine, otherwise you’ll just dump your cauliflower down the drain with the hot water and that would most definitely suck.

Steamed, drained cauliflower

Steamed, drained cauliflower

After you’ve drained the cauliflower get a thin, clean dish towel.  I suggest lining a pot with it or this next step will leave you frustrated with boiling hot water all over the place.  Dump the drained cauliflower into the middle of the clean, thin, dish towel.  Wring it out.  The point in this step is to rid the cauliflower of as much moisture as humanly possible.  You will be surprised at how much you can  wring out of it.  If you skip this step your crust will have too much moisture in it and will not come off the pan  you bake it in and it will look terrible.  This step is hot. Very hot.  If you don’t wear oven mitts you’ll need to find another way to keep your fingers from burning off.

Upon completion of operation rid the cauliflower of water very carefully open up the towel while dumping the mush into a bowl.

Add one large beaten egg, the spices, and cheese.  Mix it up.

This will look like mush in a bowl, but it is the makings of a delicious pizza crust.  Now, line a pan with parchment paper.  Do not skip this step, unless you never want to get your crust off the pan.  Then, dump your crust mixture on the paper and shape it to whatever shape you want.  Try to keep the edges a bit thicker than the other parts of the crust in order to replicate the outer edges of a pizza.

This looks good enough to me.

This looks good enough to me.

Put it into the oven and bake it for 35-40 minutes.  Watch it as it gets closer.  It is done when it is golden brown and firm.  Pull it out of the over, put whatever it is you want on top of it on it, and then stick it back into the over for about ten more minutes, or until the cheese is hot and bubbly.

Looks just like your ordinary pizza.

Looks just like an ordinary pizza.

When it is cooked to your desired pizza doneness, pull it out of the oven. Slice it up and serve it to any unsuspecting person you can find.

Done!

Done!

Please note that we eat on very high quality dishware.

Please note that we eat on very high quality dishware.

Now, I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again.  I like to serve my children first.  That way, if something is nasty, I’m not stuck with the taste in my mouth.  I know, I know…Mother of the Year is all mine.

Pizza tester!

Pizza tester!

Hopefully by this point you’ve watched the videos at the beginning of this blog.  If not, go do it now.

I’m waiting…….

……still waiting.

Ok, I trust you aren’t lying.  The pizza was a huge success with all three of the boys, and I thought it was very good.  It was easy to pick up and eat like a normal piece of pizza, which helps fool them even more.  The only thing I will change in the future is the very outer edges of the crust.  The part that normally doesn’t see the pizza sauce and cheese.  Yeah, that part tasted like hot cauliflower.  Blech.  Not at any other time in the whole experience of eating this could you taste the cauliflower.

The very edges were gross.

The very edges were gross.

Next time I plan to fix that.  Upon making and shaping the crust onto the pan, prior to baking it, I will sprinkle fresh garlic and mozzarella cheese around the outer edge.  The flavors are a good match for a pizza, and strong enough to cover the cauliflower taste so that you might actually eat the entire piece.

So, now you know that カリフラワー is cauliflower in Japanese. Food and culture in one post.  🙂

 

Lip Smacking, Wine Drinking, Totally Butt Kicking Chocolate Worth Punching Someone in the Face Over

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 3:00 am
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Every once in a while I just need some chocolate.

Mmmmmmmm…….chocolate.

And not just any ordinary chocolate will do.  I want chocolate that is so decadent it melts in my mouth, leaves me totally satisfied without feeling the need to eat more than one person reasonably should, that has a smooth flavor that lingers without turning bitter, and last but certainly not least, it must go great with a bottle of wine.  I don’t really care what kind of wine it is either, it just needs to pair well with wine.

I'd even consider drinking this wine if the chocolate was good enough to make up for the liquid crap that is Franzia.

I’d even consider drinking this wine if the chocolate was good enough to make up for the liquid crap that is Franzia.

Thus the quest for the nearly perfect chocolate continues.  I wouldn’t say perfect because the chocolate my then neighbor, Christy, brought back from Paris was darn near perfection.  I hoarded that chocolate like the crazy people on hoarders hoard whatever it is they’re hoarding.  Seriously, when you ate that chocolate it was like God put a Heavenly host of angelic voices in your mouth and they were proclaiming that God himself had ordained these as the chocolates above all other chocolates.  They were that good. 😀

Considering that, I made nearly perfect chocolates this morning.  I follow a Paleo blog and I’ve seen this recipe (Primal Fudge) pop up a time or two as other chocolate seekers leave comments. So today, I modified the recipe and it was delicious!

Lip Smacking, Wine Drinking, Totally Butt Kicking Chocolate Worth Punching Someone in the Face Over (my new recipe name)

You will need to gather the following ingredients and supplies:

mini muffin pan

mini muffin pan liners

food processor (or a blender I suppose)

1/2 cup coconut oil

1/2 cup cocoa powder (better quality = better for you so quit being a cheap bastard and buy the good stuff.)

1/2 cup organic peanut butter (original recipe calls for almond butter -if you are like my sister and swell up like the state puff marshmallow man if you eat peanuts but not almonds use the almond butter, duh)

1/4 cup raw honey (If you use honey harvested within 30 miles of where you live it will help build your immunity to the local allergens.  Shop local.)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Melt the coconut oil.  Dump all the ingredients in the food processor, no specific order here, just dump it all in.  I used a Ninja and it seriously rocks.  Everyone should buy a Ninja, even if it is for no other reason than to say you have a Ninja in your kitchen.  😉

If you haven’t already, put the lid on securely, plug it into a power source, badda bing badda boom, you have liquid chocolate.  That is, if you actually turned it on and weren’t waiting for me to type that step too.  If you didn’t power up you are an idiot.  If I have to spell it out in that great of detail you probably shouldn’t be alone in the kitchen, with a Ninja.

Place the mini muffin liners into the mini muffin pan (why do some people need every stinking step spelled out for them?).

Whatever you have to do to put the liquid heaven (the chocolate in your food processor) into the mini muffin cups inside the mini muffin pan, do it now.  I fill them about 3/4 of the way up.  Remember it is a treat, not a meal.

Fill them about that full.

Fill them about that full.

Then, stick the entire pan into your freezer for about ten minutes.  No room in the freezer?  That’s okay, put the entire tray into your refrigerator for about thirty minutes (unlucky you has to wait longer to eat them). No room there either? If you live in the frozen north like I do, you could put them in your “winter cold storage” for a bit, aka: on the deck, in the garage, on the front porch, etc.  Keep the pan level or you’ll have a chocolate mess to clean up.

Once they are solid and feel like a peanut butter cup when you push on them, they are ready.   Cooking is such an exact science.  The moment has finally arrived, pull one out of the pan.

This is what ready looks like.

This is what ready looks like.

Carefully unwrap it.  Preferably in front of your children, it will make them jealous and if you need chores done this will create an excellent bartering opportunity.

Look at that photo bomber.

Look at that photo bomber.

Find an appropriate taste tester.  I like to encourage my kids to taste new things first.  That way, if it sucks, I’m not stuck with the taste in my mouth.

Yum!

Yum!

Once you’re done licking your fingers clean you can make more, clean up your mess, or sit back and enjoy a nice glass of wine.  Whatever you decide, make sure you store them in an air tight container in the refrigerator; or the freezer.  Whatever floats your boat.

Now, these aren’t exactly low on calories so I’d eat them very sparingly.  Here is what I was able to calculate per serving.

Serving size = one chocolate, which is about half an ounce (yes I weighed it on my kitchen scale). So the below list is PER SERVING.

39.9 calories

.8 grams of carbohyrates

3 grams of fat (total, I didn’t bother breaking it down)

.6 grams of protein (yeah peanut butter)

0 sodium (that’s right, organic peanut butter is sodium free.  Just as peanut butter should be.)

Mine made about 60 chocolate cups.  I probably could have eeked out more; however, the children got into the bowl of melted chocolate.  BUT, just before I was able to dump a little of the extra on banana slices.  We love frozen chocolate covered bananas.

awesome frozen treat

awesome frozen treat

It’s a treat, it’s okay to splurge once in a while when you use healthy ingredients.  The key is healthy ingredients.

 

Snow Ice Cream March 9, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 4:00 pm
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Snow Ice Cream: it’s like ice cream, only better.  Seriously.  And, if you aren’t careful when doing  your preparation, you could have multicolored snow ice cream.  Wink, wink, gag, gag….

For this delectable treat you need just three ingredients.  That is unheard of  in this day and age; however, don’t let the lack of ingredients fool you.  This simple snack tastes like it took hours to prepare, well, depending on the rate of snowfall that might actually be a true statement.

Here is what you will need to recreate the awesomeness and bring out your inner snow eating carefree child:

9-10 cups of snow, preferably fresh  (yes I was serious when I said it was SNOW ice cream)

1 can of sweetened condensed milk

1 tsp vanilla

It's gourmet.

It’s gourmet.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Is that challenging or what?!

Gather your snow into a large bowl.  Now, this is an important step and one that I wouldn’t leave to a complete moron.  There are a few things to consider when selecting your snow gatherer.  For instance, are they an idiot?  Are they mad at you? Are they blind? Do they know that yellow snow is BAD and not some unique extra special snowfall?  Are they afraid to walk into the unknown to gather fresh, untouched snow? Do they know what animal tracks look like? What about bird marks? Do they like salt (you know, snow by the curb or street)? Do they know that those are not chocolate chunks in the snow (if you have a dog)? Would they willingly eat what they are gathering? Again, are they an idiot or are they blind?  If they pass this basic test than I think you should be okay entrusting your snow gathering mission to them.  Hand them a bowl and measuring cup and send them on their way.

While operation snow collecting is underway, you can prepare the other ingredients.  Shake and open the can of milk.  Find the vanilla and have a teaspoon of it ready to rock and roll.  Perhaps gather a wooden spoon so you can stir it all up, unless you plan to use your nasty hands.  Which is fine too.  If that’s how you roll, by all means go about your bad ass hand stirring.  I’ll be using a wooden spoon because snow is cold, ice cold.  A metal spoon will work just as good as a wooden spoon, just remember that the metal spoon will get very cold.  So, if you choose metal you might as well choose to use your bare hands…you’re going to be cold no matter what.

Once the snow collector is back, very politely take the snow from them, turn away so they don’t see you and get offended, and then give the snow a quick once over.  If it looks acceptable proceed.  If not…gather your own snow.

Bowl full of fresh snow

Bowl full of freshly harvested  snow

Pour the milk and vanilla on top of the snow in the bowl.

Just dump it all together.

Just dump it all together.

Pick up the wooden spoon and stir it all together.  If it is runny, add more snow.  Within moments you’ll see it transition from white fluffy snow to a very creamy bowl of vanilla ice cream.

Less than two minutes of stirring.

Less than two minutes of stirring.

Scoop it into bowls and chow down.  For real. It is amazing and my children prefer this over actual vanilla ice cream.

My picky eater, aka: snow gatherer.

My picky eater, aka: snow gatherer.

The two that eat darn near anything, aka: not a chance in hell they'll gather snow.

The two that eat darn near anything, aka: not a chance in hell they’ll gather snow.

If you do not live in an area that sees snowfall, bummer, your loss.  Read this and weep, and remember this for the next time you are unlucky enough to be surrounded by five straight months of snowfall (and counting).

Super duper, lick smackingly delicious, creamy, all natural, made in America, vanilla snow cream.

Super duper, lick smackingly delicious, creamy, all natural, made in America, vanilla snow cream.

 

Wholesome Home Made Butter March 3, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 3:20 am
Tags: ,

Many have inquired into my butter making endeavors; thus rendering a blog about the process more than necessary.  The recipe I follow is one that I received from a sister in Christ, although she didn’t say Jesus spoke the words to her in a vision, after tasting the creamy goodness one would think He may have.  I may have altered her directions greatly…

To begin, you need to gather the following ingredients:

Heavy Whipping Cream

Sea Salt

A jar that can withstand the constant forces of your thrusting without spewing a single drop of buttery goodness across the room.

Any youth that needs to burn off excess energy.  Finding one as cute as mine is nearly impossible, so by all means, settle for almost good enough.

Here is what I used in the creation of this blog:

Stuff you need

Stuff you need

Cuteness exemplified

Cuteness exemplified

One you’ve gathered your sub par energetic youth and the other ingredients read on for the fine details.

Fill your jar about this full (yes I bake with these exact measurements too) and then screw the lid on tightly.  Remember, the point is to shake the crap out of this without redecorating your walls with cream.

Heavy whipping cream into jar.  Seal.

Heavy whipping cream into jar.

Once you’ve done this you are ready for some serious shaking action.  Pick the jar up, put on a sweat band or two and get to it.  Pretend it’s a shake weight.  If you’re going to spend the next 15 minutes or so shaking the shit out of this, then you might as well make it a workout (or, sit back and gleefully watch your energetic youth struggle to perform).

See that smile?  It won't last much longer.  He's about two minutes in.

See that smile? It won’t last much longer. He’s about two minutes in.

If this is your first butter shaking adventure, you are in luck!  I have included rare video images of the process.  I actually had to pay to upgrade my blog so I could include videos, totally worth it.  This first one highlights what it looks like when you break the news to your now slightly less energetic youth, as to how much longer they must shake.

After all that shaking your energetic youth is bound to get tired.  Do not let them fool you, they have PLENTY of energy on reserve.  It is your goal to tap into all of that.

Do not fall for this nonsense.

Do not fall for this nonsense.

Not only is this better for you than the mostly vegetable oil spreads in the stores, but it is a great upper body workout.

When your shaker looks like the picture below, you should be getting close.

Do not fall for the worn out cuteness

Do not fall for the worn out cuteness

When it is harder to shake the liquid in the jar and it sounds a little more “thick,” go ahead and open it up.  Add whatever quantity of salt you so desire.

Add the salt, reseal it, and continue de-energizing your youth.

Add the salt, reseal it, and continue de-energizing your youth.

Now that the final stages are within reach, it is a nice touch to change things up a bit for your less than energetic youth.  To hold their interest long enough to cross the finish line into buttery goodness, you need to get creative.

Who doesn’t love a little Gangnam Style?

And lastly, since we are shaking…..

When your liquid changes to a solid yellow turd sitting amongst a cream-colored bath, you are finished!  It should look something like this:

Solid yellow turd in a creamy liquid

Solid yellow turd in a creamy liquid

Lastly, transfer it into a container.

Yummy!

Yummy!

And that is how you make butter.  I assume you know how to toast your own bread…..

 

Broccoli Alfredo February 20, 2013

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife — bredlowfamily @ 9:08 am
Tags: , , ,

I’m trying to get a handle on the gluten-free thing and as a result, the kids have become my unwilling guinea pigs as I try a myriad of new recipes.  Every recipe I’ve tried from the Wheat Belly Cookbook has been a success.  Every recipe.  That’s unheard of, but true.  Obviously I’m not making the ones that I wouldn’t normally eat, like the fish ones.  Here is their recipe for Fettuccine Alfredo….I modified it, as you can tell by my recipe title.

Broccoli Alfredo (the kids complained when they saw the broccoli on their plates, yet proceeded to eat every last bit of it)

Noodles of your choice (I used Gluten Free Spaghetti as it was the only thing I could find here)

4 tablespoons butter

1 clove garlic, minced (use the fresh stuff, not the canned pre-smashed crap)

3/4 cup heavy cream

3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/4 cup grated Pecorino Romano cheese (I hand grated it)

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

14 teaspoon ground black pepper

pinch of red pepper (optional and I omitted it)

1 tablespoon freshly minced parsley (I omitted this too)

1/2 cup fresh steamed broccoli (I added this to the recipe)

Cook your noodles, drain them, and set them aside.

To save dish cleanup….use the pan you cooked your noodles in for the rest of the meal prep.

On low heat cook the butter and garlic for about 2 minutes.  The garlic should become nice and fragrant.  Mmmm…garlic!  Then, add the cream, cheeses, salt, and peppers.  Cook and stir on low heat for 3-5 minutes or until the cheese is melted and it is heated through.  Should smell like the Olive Garden at this point in your kitchen.  Dump your drained noodles into the cheese and stir together.  Dump the drained freshly steamed broccoli into the mix and stir it up again.

Turn off the burners and dish it up.

All three of the kids complained…and all three of the kids cleared their plates.

Trey said: “I like broccoli, but when I saw it in this I didn’t.  But then I ate it and I liked it again. Yum!”

Trygg said: “I guess I do like broccoli.”

Tyler said: “It’s ok.”

What a total brat that kid is.  This is the kid that will ONLY eat Fettuccine Alfredo from the Olive Garden. Nothing else, ever.  So, I had to know……. “Hey Tyler,” I said.  “Is the Olive Garden’s better or mine?”

God bless the little saint, he said: “Yours is way better.”

After the angels were done singing and the heavens closed in the ceiling above us I made them do the dishes.  No free loaders in this house, and saying I’m a better cook than the Olive Garden, while true, won’t buy you freedom.

Here are the per serving details without the broccoli (recipe serves 4): 350 calories, 9 grams protein, 8 grams carbohydrates, 34 grams total fat, 22 grams saturated fat, 5 grams fiber, and 590 mg sodium.  Keep in mind, this is a GLUTEN FREE recipe.