The Bredlow Family Blog

Yeah, we really are this crazy.

I Woke Up With Wings! October 7, 2014

Filed under: The Boys,Totally Random Stuff — bredlowfamily @ 5:11 am
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hello-im-back-again

Did you miss me? 🙂

I’ve had a case of the blog blahs.  My kids constantly tell me to get with the program and update it already.   😉

My kids are a humorous bunch of crazies, if I do say so myself.  I’m not entirely certain where all the crazy stems from; however, I am fairly confident it comes from a word that starts with M and ends with OM. 😉

This welcome back to blogging post is brought to you by T2.  This is a story he wrote for school, he already has next weeks story planned out.  I love this kid!  Okay, here goes the fun (this is transcribed directly from his journal, no editing on my part. Well, with the exception of the images):

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I woke up and looked out the window.  Officer Wesley was staring at me with wide-eyed horror.  I turned around and heard the window shatter. I felt a different form of energy, I felt as if I could fly.

“Son!” Called my mom.

“What?” I called.

“You broke a window?!” Called my mom.

“Coming!”

I ran downstairs. When mom saw me she passed out. I got Officer Wesley called the hospital then said I had wings. Moving-animated-gif-picture-dragon-flapping-wings He took me to an open field then said to try flying.  I tried and actually flew! He said to pick up an abandoned car, and I did.  Officer Wesley said to drop it and it landed on his police car.

“Oops!” I said.

He was so angry he pulled out his pistol from his holster and tried shooting me.  He missed. I flew away. I was extremely depressed. The ones I loved most are now gone. I flew to Texas and remembered the reason I woke up with wings.

It was a lab experiment gone wrong. I mixed pineapple juice with acid and accidentally burned myself.  Then I passed out. I woke up in my bed and had wings. That’s how this all happened.

So I made the same formula. I got a volunteer to try the mixture on. He got burnt, passed out, then woke up with wings.

flamebreathing

I gave my formula to the government.  i told the governor that if you burn yourself you would pass out then wake up with wings.  He seemed fascinated.

Next thing I knew I was famous.

I tried apple juice and acid. I burnt myself, but didn’t pass out.  Instead, I didn’t have wings; but there was one problem…I was a T-Rex!

Moving-picture-trex-walking-animated-gif

 

Oops, did I forget to mention those were hot? November 14, 2012

Filed under: My Life as an Army Wife,The Boys — bredlowfamily @ 3:32 pm
Tags: ,

I’ve been researching Bedazzlers.  I’m not going to lie, they have one heck of a catchy slogan.  Who wants to be amazing when you can ‘Be Dazzling?’  I now want to glitz and glam everything.  Sort of like this:

Um…you missed a spot there on your bottle….and your sweater…and your post it note…and your picture, and your…..

How fun would it be to glam up the cookie jar though.  Talk about bringing a ‘pop’ to the kitchen.  Folks would stop over and look around with that “hmm….something is different in here but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is…” kind of look on their faces.  When, in all actuality, they could put their finger on a bedazzled cookie jar.  Speaking of cookie jars…..Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

Last night I decided to make my signature spicy pretzels.  Ok, truth be told it is not my signature recipe.  Details, details.  It is my mothers (woot, woot! Shout out to my mom for the stellar recipe!).

In the kitchen I have these two plastic bear jars that used to house animal cookies.  Once the kids devoured those I simply washed the container instead of recycling it.  This is important because my kids associate these bear containers with family friendly snacks that they can snack on without asking me first, for the most part.  There are times when the iron fist comes down and crushes their snack time dreams into thin air like a freight train running over an ant, but this is not that time.

One of the containers sat empty on the counter for a few days (purely coincidental).  I washed it out and left it to air dry while I was at the grocery, and thereafter two bags of pretzels sat unopened on the counter next to it.  Since dinner was cooking no one bothered to ask for a snack because they instinctively knew I would say no (one of those times open snacking from the bear is not allowed).  After the evening ‘complain the entire time about how much you don’t want to eat what I’ve prepared for you’ meal was complete and the ‘cry and throw a hissy fit while acting like a complete moron’ dishes were cleared I made the nightly ‘throw a royal fit and act like you need a beating from a prison guard to get yourself together’ decision that it was bedtime.  If you didn’t already know, that fun-filled announcement went over like a lead balloon.

Kid #3 is showered and in his bed reading so I make my way downstairs to light a fire under kid #1 and 2.  Note to self…need more fire starters.  Must buy in bulk next time.  So I get them into bed, rather, mostly into bed.  I do have one that seems to think he can circumvent the rules because he’s the oldest. Oh shoot, I just gave him away.  I’ve resolved to ignoring it and will let him suffer in the morning.  Today he was informed that if he misses the bus and is late for school again  he’s riding his bike to school.  It was 10 degrees for him this morning at the bus stop.  Let’s hope he’s not riding his bike in that.  Reason being: he told two of his friends (in front of me) that he was late for school because I moved to slow in the morning and it caused him to be late.  I’m sorry…did you say it was me that had a bus to catch or you? I digress….

Kids are in bed, they’ve prayed, and somehow #3 has snuck into my room and is racked out sideways in my bed.  Ugh.  Event he cat looks annoyed.  But that’s okay.  I have a plan.

Back in the kitchen I decided to make the spicy pretzels.  I enjoy them and they would be an excellent snack at the end of a cold day while my kids are asleep so I didn’t have to share them.  🙂  Mix, mix, mix, bake, bake, bake, stir, stir, stir, bake, bake, bake, more stirring, sampling, screw it good enough I’m eating them.  And viola…spicy pretzels fresh from the oven and not a soul around to pester me (other than the dog and cat).  Mmm, mmm, mmm!

After I get the kitchen all cleaned up and realize it’s almost one am it strikes me that I need a place to store the pretzels.  I can’t leave them out overnight or the dog and cat will eat them (sneaky little guys).  Hmmm…..they are still too hot for a ziplock bag…where should I store these?  I thought about sticking the pan in the oven but it was still hot, don’t want to burn the deliciousness.  Then it hits me!
Ah-ha!

I just cleaned the cookie jar!  It is perfect.  I carefully pour the pretzels into the jar, clean up the pan, screw the lid on the jar, open it again and sneak one last handful, close it again, and head to bed.   Then it hits me.  I just put the SPICY PRETZELS into the kids free reign snack jar.  What’s a mother to do?  I text Bruce no doubt.  His advice: experiential learning.  I love that man.  With that I am out cold.  Sleeping peacefully in my super awesome Tempurpedic with polar fleece sheets and one very unwelcome seven-year old bed hog.  I hope he finds the pretzels first.

 

Mmmmm….Spicy Pretzels!

Fast forward through the dream stages and we are now chowing down on cereal the next morning.  We, as in, Trygg.  Trey is still downstairs moving at the speed of an Icelandic glacier in the winter.  Then it happened.  I was grinning from ear to ear and if it was possible to be grinning bigger than that I was.  I mean, this is one of those moments that melted my insides like a good love scene does to some people in the movies.  Even now I can’t help but grin.  Maybe even chuckle a little.  Okay, a lot.

All I heard was Trygg saying: “Oh I love pretzels.”  Didn’t register at that moment for me.  Nope.  I just carried on with making sure his backpack was ready to rock and roll while shouting threatening words of encouragement down to Trey.  Such is the normal routine at our house in the morning.  I can  have them up an hour before the bus or ten minutes before the bus.  It doesn’t matter, these two knuckleheads will still be racing out the door at the last-minute.

Then I hear Trygg in the kitchen again.  “I love these pretzels mom.”  Wait for it…he’s inhaling them because you know he has to get as many in as he can before school. Keep waiting…….”Oh!!  These BURN my throat all the way into my stomach!!!”  He screams!  Then says:  “They are so good.”  “Oh, they burn.”  “Mom, these are good.”  “What is wrong with these pretzels they burn mom?” “But they are so good mom.”
Is he sweating?  I’m not sure.  All I know is that I used a lot of cayenne pepper last night.  😉